Friday, September 9, 2011

Love sick

I'm at work, I should probably not advertise that I'm writing this at work but my employer seriously doesn't mind as long as I stay awake and have all of my other work done. I do I do have all my other work completed. I'm actually ahead in my duties.

It's been two weeks. I don't like relationships, I find them to be confusing. I'm trying to focus on finding a new job. If anyone is hiring I'm seeking employment. I am trying to focus on my upcoming trip to Atlanta. I leave on September 11 and return on the 13th. I hope that my flight is safe. I'm nervous to fly on that day. I'm sure it unsettles most people.

I don't know where I'll be in ten years and that scares me. However I do know where I want to be. I've been trying to focus on my nonprofit and let the rest play out. I like school. I'm a nerd. This post is stream of conscious. I'm still a vegetarian. I don't know what I'm gonna give up next month... it's ten so I'm gonna go home.

Night.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Hurrilame Irene and other news to date.

So, I'm gonna lay it out straight for you dear reader there have been several things that have happened since I've last updated.

The good:
School started again - I love school, I'm a big nerd and believe that a good education is a vital part to a full life.
My softball league started and my team won a game, partly thanks to my amazing catching abilities and vicious banter (mostly because my team rocked).
I still have a job - this is good news. There are lots and lots and lots of people without one.
I am single - which means that I can date whomever I want, whenever I want, however I want. I also get to do the single ladies dance, I think I can rock my hips and shake my hands better than Beyonce (others can feel free to disagree).
I have really amazing friends.
I am going to Atlanta in less than a week.

The Bad:
School is already starting to overwhelm me.
Working with highly behavioral and sometimes violent special needs students is challenging. Not intellectually challenging, but physical and stressful. Not always, when my kids are good they are the best kids on the planet. When they are not good, I sometimes get scared. I think it helps to admit that I'm not perfect and that I do get scared. I think it will eventually help me to recognize how to get over this looming fear.
I have to get new glasses cause one of my kids broke them (see above).
I sometimes feel alone. The single ladies dance is only fun by yourself for so long, eventually I don't want to be a single lady.
I don't have very many friends in Boston and I've now officially been here for 365 days. That is sad.
Going to Atlanta costs money, and I feel poor. However, I am not actually poor, I can feed myself, I can clothe myself, and I have a sweet apartment with awesome roommates.

In reality, I have no reason to complain. Still sometimes it just feels good to complain, and to cry and to want better for myself.

In other news, I've been thinking a lot about my nonprofit as of late. I am in the process of redesigning the logo, which seems like a futile task cause if I ever gather a board and get this thing off the ground, it's going to be redone again. My penguin may never get approved, but I like it. In reality the logo doesn't matter as much as the mission and I feel like I have a lot of hurdles to climb. It seriously feels like someone stacked Mt. Kilaminjaro, Mt. Everest, Mt. Washington, and Sugarloaf Mountain, and said "hey you should try and climb this beast" and I said, "Absolutely". I'm still gathering supplies for the journey. There are a lot of supplies you need to climb a mountain, but when you're gonna climb four mountains stacked on top of each other, you might as well just hire a jet plane or a helicopter. I guess I said screw the helicopter I'm gonna do it the hard way. So I'm here you know gathering supplies, and supplies get expensive. I've also come to realize that you shouldn't climb a mountain by yourself, so you know I'm trying to convince friends that they want to climb four mountains with me. I still haven't found anyone to take the bait. So I guess this is me asking the internet if anyone is interested in creating a nonprofit determined to promote creative education techniques for teachers and provide interactive yet educational performances to students. I kind of prefer to help American children but if people from other countries are interested in my idea and the prospect of climbing* four  mountains stacked on top of each other sounds fun to you.

If you want to learn more shoot me an email at sara@sarapens.com and I'll let you know what I've got.

Of course I don't mean literal mountains, figurative mountains will do. Mountains sounds more dramatic than jumping hurdles, there are lots of hurdles to jump. The idea though, the idea is solid.

Well I look forward to my upcoming trip to Atlanta, possibly finding a new job, finding a second job, making friends, going to school, and being a single lady.

Also in case anyone is wondering, Jeremiah is still living.

Until next time,
     Sarapens

I also realized that I titled this post Hurrilame Irene and never mentioned it, that was about as much impact as the storm had on Boston. However it was fun.